193.8

I'll post my weight progression each week if I remember. I'm down a couple pounds from the original weigh in. At the beginning of last week I was doing pretty awesome exercising and eating right... The last few days have been a challenge.

I must be doing something though. Not a day has gone by where I haven't felt extremely sore in one spot or another on my body. Last Monday I donated blood. Each workout since has been more difficult then it should be, but by now my body should be restored fully.

I'm not sure what today's physical activity will be. After work one of my dogs has a vet appointment. Once I get home from there it will be around 8pm I'm guessing. I need to make sure that before I sit down on the couch, I do something. Anything.

Goals, stress factors & what I'm looking forward to most.
Thursday already? This week pretty much got away from me. I want to finish up my homework so here goes...

Goals - Carroll has always emphasized the importance of both short term measurable goals, and the long term goal. I have my ultimate goal(s) figured out, but I've only got a few short term goals for now. I'll have some more once July 1st rolls around and I see what this journey starts to shape into. 

Ultimate long term goals

Drop my weight to 150lbs

Run a 10k

Complete a Spartan Sprint (or similar endurance/obstacle race)

That number isn't as random as it sounds. 150lbs would give me a BMI of 25, bringing me at the high end of the "normal weight" range for my height. I remember my body at that weight, and I know it's a doable number if I really push myself.

Short term goals

Lose 10 pounds

Run a 5k in under 30 minutes (current personal best 32:26)

What scares me the most: Failure. I have lost weight and gained it back more times that I can count. This time I wouldn't just be letting myself down... I would be letting Carroll down. I plan on using that as motivation. So, aside from that obvious fear, taking and posting my photos was terrifying.

Stress factors: Temptation. I have no kind of will power to speak of. Offer me a beer? Yes please! Pepsi? Sure, I'll have one! Cookie? Don't mind if I do! For real, I need to work on that. There's temptation everywhere and that stresses me out. 

What I'm looking forward to the most: Feeling comfortable in my own body! I'm so insecure in the way that I look and I'm tired of that. It's as simple as that. 


It's hot as hell today. I'm not sure what type of workout I will get in tonight. It may be that I just go to the gym for some cardio. I will do something, though.

Carroll is formulating a workout plan for me to start July 1st. In the meantime, I'm going to blog about whatever workout I get in for the day. 

Goal #1 Between now and July 1st, do something physical every single day. Even if that means just getting out for a walk, or standing up and doing some squats while watching a show. I know when I see what type of workout regimen Carroll has planned, I'll likely need 1 day of nothing, but for now... everyday works. 

Morning workout

30 pushups - 3 sets of 10

50 leg lifts - 5 sets of 10

45 squats - 3 sets of 15 

Mathieu is at bike week in Laconia. If he gets home early enough I'll get out for a run. I really need a jogging stroller so I can just take Patrick with me. If Mats not going to be home until late, then I will just get out for a walk with Patrick. 

Yesterday's healthy choices. Patrick and I took a walk to the supermarket instead of getting in the car. I was picking up meat and veggies for chili. Instead of buying hamburger, I got ground turkey. Can I be honest? Not really a fan. Next time maybe I'll just use half the amount of hamburger or even try meatless (gasp!) I only had 1 Pepsi. Today I plan to have zero.

I'll be back later to blog the rest of my homework. I'll probably be posting a lot in the beginning to help keep myself on track.

Alright Mother F'er, it's gut check time. 

Weight: 197.2

This was particularly disturbing as the last time I weighed myself, sometime in April, the scale was giving me a more palatable 186. If the scale didn't just re-affirm my commitment, then nothing will. Numbers don't lie, and all that skipping workouts and eating shitty food is bringing me nauseatingly close to that evil 200 number. A number that when I dropped below back in February I said I would never see again. Anyways, moving on.

Measurements

Thighs: R 26" / L 26.5"
Butt: 43"
Hips: 45"
Belly: 44"
Waist: 39"
Chest: 43"
Biceps: R 14" / L 13"

Pictures? Oh yeah, the pictures. My best friend of over 13 years came over yesterday to help me take my photos. Was my husband home? Yup. Would he have taken them for me? Absolutely. In fact, I'm pretty sure I hurt his feelings by having Sherry drive over to do them. He has never given me reason to feel embarrassed about how I look. He's loved me through thin to pregnancy and everything in between, but there was something about standing there, in shorts too small for me, feeling the shame of where I let myself get... I just couldn't let him see me like that. That might sound completely absurd, but fuck you. haha

Have I stalled enough yet? Okay fine, here they are.

This is where I give my back story, eh? Well, shit. My twinsie + partner in crime for this little journey already published her first post, and it's frigging hilarious. Tough act to follow? Indeed. 

My name is Nicole. I'm a 31 year old wife and mother living in the suburbs of Boston. 

Oh hiiiii!

Last September I got sick of looking at myself in the mirror. No, really. Anyone who has battled with their weight knows the moment I'm talking about. The moment where you are giving your own self the stare down... Making the decision to either give up all together and let yourself go completely to hell, or actually do something about the disgust you feel. I DID SOMETHING.

I started running. I ran for a lot of reasons. I ran to prove to myself that my fat ass wasn't a lost hope. I ran to show my (at the time) 3 year old son that his Mommy wasn't giving up. I ran to be more attractive to my husband. But, above all else, I ran for my life. The picture above is just before I ran my very first 5K in March of 2012. (PS I kicked that 5Ks ass!) 

I have run in several since, but lately my motivation to push beyond that goal has faltered. Life gets in the way, and sometimes you find any excuse to not lace up your sneakers. Getting lazy in my running lead to getting lazy with food. Getting lazy with alcohol. Suddenly, the number that used to be getting smaller on the scale is starting to get bigger. This is where my friends come in...

Have you ever had a friend inspire you so completely that you want to push harder just to be worthy of their support? For me, that's Carroll. Carroll, with nothing more than an encouraging conversation, has challenged me to get back on track. To do so by being more vulnerable than I've ever been: by doing this all... PUBLICLY. Obviously, I accepted... otherwise I wouldn't be typing right now.

Then there's Emma. My Twinsie from my roller derby days. She has had my back for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 5 years? haha. And I dragged her ass into this with me! Bwahaha! 

Okay there you have it. The journey has begun. My homework is as follows:

1. pics

  2. measurements

  3. goals

  4. stress-factors / what your nervous about

  5. what you're looking forward to the most   The pictures have been taken... It ain't pretty. I'm looking forward to calling them my "before" photos and not my "current" photos. I will post tomorrow. 

Here we go...